It has been a while since I have written. Each time I went to my laptop, thoughts and messages jumbled in my mind. It was clear that I needed a break. However, it took some time to come to terms with that. In turn, it led me down a path of uncertainty and frustration. I had a difficult time navigating those feelings. I still do. I think that experiencing life in these intensely raw and emotional times left me feeling that I needed to step back for a bit. It was the more private writing and reflection that my heart, mind, and soul craved. With times as they are, I had no other choice but to pause and rest. The stress and the noise over the last chunk of months with the pandemic and even the few years before that rubbed both inner and outer being quite raw.
With exchanges over this holiday weekend with family and friends, meditation in the sun, forest walks under a cloudy sky, listening to the rain, and the importance of my journal writing, I feel a need to reemerge from my hiding space to peel the curtain back just a little bit. So many of us are feeling this strange and natural reaction to return what we think of as normal. I do not know what that looks or feels like. I do however, feel the unsteady shift from what once was to the churning formation into something else… Something that is still forming and will continue to do so for a while longer I believe. This leaves us in a highly sensitive time.
I think humans feel safe in what they know. We have our schedule and routine that helps us move from day to day. There is a comfort in knowing what the expectations are, even when we may not agree with them. It is the patterns that we create and the ones that have been created for us that we have come to know and expect. With the pandemic and our societal shifts over the last few years, we have been challenging all that we know, personally and collectively. As a result, we are moving into a direction that is unfamiliar, leaving us feeling uneasy and even angry or scared. The unknown can lead us into an uncertain and uncomfortable space. While in this position, we can be open to the energies around us to explore the benefits or we can push back on it creating even more friction. That leaves us in the space where we find ourselves today.
The world is a different place. People are feeling fragile or uncertain right now in their own way. Sensing the confusion and frustration all around us can be disorienting. Remembering to be kind to yourself can be difficult, especially if one typically moves forward without rest. This is something that I know is not easy. I remind myself of this often, especially as the world is emerging from the private and societal cocoons experienced during the pandemic isolation. So, what do we do? How can we trust? How can we move forward? How can we be kind to ourselves and others when we are feeling our own deep frustration?
The answers are not easy. I don’t think that they can be. Yet, we can go slow and be gentle with ourselves as we explore and honor our vulnerability. We can listen to what our hearts, emotions, and minds are telling us. We can offer ourselves and others grace and gentleness while we figure things out. We can hold space for ourselves and offer it to others. We can rise to greet each other eye to eye and listen to what is really being said. Laugh and cry when you must. Reach out to others when you can and offer a hello. Shut off the phone if you need silence. Drink some water. Sleep and dreamtime are important for your restoration. Allow the sun to shine upon your face. Emerge from your cocoon and allow your wings to dry as slowly as you need. Breathe slowly and deeply into your belly. Listen to your own heart. It is your beat and rhythm that is sacred unto you. Learn your cycles and patterns and allow yourself to be open to receive what it is that you need. Most importantly, offer yourself the space to reflect upon what your needs are. The difficult times are not over. New ways of thinking and being takes time and it can be intense. Allowing the shifts to take place is important. You too, are important within those shifts. I see you. I honor you. I am with you. May you offer yourself the gentle grace and mercy you generously offer others.
Be well,
Renee Bedard, The Whispering Crow
The Whispering Crow 